Salt

A Film Review by Alexander Morales

Who is Salt? That’s supposed to be a very complex and intriguing question. Like, who is Jason Bourne? Or “What is the ‘Matrix?’” Or better yet “Who shot JR?” But unfortunately it’s not. In fact, it’s kind of a silly question.

“Salt,” the new movie directed by Phillip Noyce (“The Bone Collector,” “Clear and Present Danger”) and written by Kurt Wimmer (“Law Abiding Citizen,” the horrible “Ultraviolet,” and the interesting “Equilibrium”) is a wanna-be espionage thriller that attacks movie-goers in our softest and most vulnerable of places – national security. Starring the extremely malnourished and pasty Angelina Jolie,  “Salt,” tries extremely hard to be the next big thing is female action badassedness.

While the story tries to be deep, it’s actually pretty shallow. Girl is a kick-ass American agent that is qualified in everything that includes killing, fighting and whatever else CIA agents do. Girl gets accused of being a spy by a Cold War Soviet. Girl goes on the run. Things explode, people die, girl is unstoppable force. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Yawn.

To say that this film is based on over-reactions is an understatement.

You’ve actually seen this before, but usually it’s with a dude. See any of the “Bourne” movies, the television show “24” or even “Spies Like Us.”

Jolie as the accused and headlining Evelyn Salt does a good job carrying the film and handling herself within the usual action-dominated world of men. While looking a little frail, Jolie is able to outrun, outgun and out maneuver everything that the United States government is able to throw at her including a nuclear missile crisis. I love seeing tough women in films like this and Jolie is a great fit for this kind of role.

In comparison, her male counterparts look and sometimes act like the clowns that warm up the crowd at a Cirque du Soleil event. Liev Schreiber (“X-Men Origins: Wolverine”) as her commanding supervisor and Chiwetel Ejiofor (“Serenity”) as Peabody bumble and trip over themselves at every turn as they try to apprehend the ever-allusive Salt. At the same time, a small army of soldiers, security guards, CIA agents and so on, are made to feel the wrath of the women scorned which makes me ask one very important question – If Evelyn Salt is so good, why don’t they just train everyone the same way? Sure would cut down the cost of getting owned by a person who seems to only weigh 70 pounds when wet.

I’m just saying.

Action-wise, the film actually does pretty well. Of course it almost literally steals its action from a host of other movies, but still, Noyce has a knack for understanding the action-spy kind of film. It’s never boring, fun and best of all, it’s shot the way action should be shot – open and wide enough for the audience to see what’s going on.

Now, let’s talk about that question again. You know, the question that this film seems to have built it’s entire marketing campaign around. Who is Salt? Whoever decided on the marketing for this film seems to never have been given the details of the script or had a discussion with the writer or director because that has to be one of the silliest questions ever asked. In comparison “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” is gold. My issue with the question is that it’s not even close to being a mystery. Within the first 20 minutes of the film, you already know who she is, what she’s doing and why she’s doing it. In fact, I bathed my daughter in water deeper than this question. This movie tries so hard to be more and run with the big dogs of spy filmdom, but it doesn’t even come close.

At the same time, and please note, I will be revealing a spoiler – something the filmmakers thought was a big secret but make painfully obvious right away – you just don’t care what happens to Salt. She’s a traitor and Soviet spy. Her motivations aren’t in the best interest of our country; it’s out of revenge. This is a film about the holes in our national security and you want me to root for the bad guy (or girl in this case?) Come on. I love films where the line is blurred between good and evil, but here we have a good, old-fashioned spy-caper, kind of film that you lose complete interest in once the truth is revealed.

Overall, “Salt” is a decent action film that suffers from unoriginality and a complete lack of tension. Maybe I would feel a little bit better about it if I hadn’t read Chuck Palahniuk’s book “Pygmy” within the last year or so - which, on a side note, is a challenge to read but a hell of a lot more fun than this film. I think most moviegoers will enjoy it for it’s tough-as-nails female lead and mindless fun, but for me, it was just another bargain-bin romp at the movies.

2.5 out of 5 Chemical Fire Extinguisher Bombs

Inception

Film Review by Alexander Morales

Since 2000, the name Christopher Nolan immediately makes me go all giddity-giddity inside. Since his first major hit “Momento” to the Oscar-winning “The Dark Knight,” Nolan has delivered a consistent helping of style, substance and something special to the masses. Needless to say, when his name shows up on the trailer, the expectation for high-end cinema is extremely desired.

So for the past year, since filmgoers were first introduced and confused by quick glimpses of mind-bending, M.C. Escher-esque action, the buzz has been almost unbearable. What is “Inception?” became as powerful a question as “What is the Matrix?” was in 1999.

Of course, for most summer movies, the pitch of the excitement rises so fast and at such a rate that when the film is actually delivered, it fails miserably in comparison. Yes, we get one or two blockbusters that hit on all cylinders, but time has told us that under delivering is the most common outcome.

“Inception,” Nolan’s newest present to the world, delivers and exceeds expectation and leaves you wanting more.

But, what is “Inception?”

“Inception” is an idea. It’s a thought. It’s something you have not thought of and that you're trying to make yours. It’s nearly impossible.

Following a team of dream invaders, the film challenges you to follow, keep up and comprehend the complex new world of information espionage. Cobb (an always-on point Leonardo DiCaprio) and Arthur (the Peter Pan-like Joseph Gordon-Levitt) are partners and experts in this medium and after a setback, are asked to do the impossible … yup you guessed it … Inception.

While the concept of dreams is not an entirely original theme for movies and the idea of dream invasion is something that has been toyed with in a variety of films (see 1984’s “Dreamscape” starring Dennis Quaid – a childhood guilty pleasure of mine) Nolan’s approach is extremely original. As I said before, Nolan brings a steady style to everything he does and with this multi-layered story, a less talented person would have failed miserably.

What I appreciate most about this film is that it doesn’t wait for you to catch up. It immediately throws you into the fray and makes a point to award the attentive and confuse the distracted. At the same time, I love it when films make you question what is real. Where do the dreams end and our reality begins? Easily, this could make it a “Vanilla Sky” retread, but thankfully it’s not (Ugh, “Vanilla Sky” what a waste of good music.) This film takes a more philosophical and intellectual approach to the subject with Nolan doing his best to account for every detail of the dreaming and the awake and then blurring them.

Character-wise, the story focuses on the internal drama of Cobb. While the tragedy of the character is very similar to the trauma DiCaprio gave us in “Shutter Island,” it’s refreshing to experience a character that, while both the solution and the problem for the team, is motivated by the raw selfish human emotions to hold on to the most precious and get back to all he has left. Cobb’s sadness is the key source of the struggles that hinder the team and when his subconscious starts invading the mission, everything starts to quickly unravel.

With a cast of all-stars and up-and-comers, this film has talent in spades. Nothing and no one is wasted as every character plays an integral part of the team and each actor finds the right time and the right place to shine. Ken Watanabe (“The Last Samurai,” “Batman Begins”) spews confidence and demands respect throughout the film while Tom Hardy’s (“RocknRolla,” “Bronson”) devilish and devious Eames charms anything and everything he wants from everyone. Cillian Murphy (“Batman Begins,” “28 Days Later”) once again brings a solid performance and proves to be much deeper than the usual “heir to the throne of riches” kind of character.

At the same time, I am thankfully full of praise as to how the female characters are presented. Ellen Page (Juno) as the young and talented Ariadne and Marion Cotillard (Nine) as the lost Mal are as powerful as they are beautiful. Ariadne is just brilliant as Arthur, if not more and Mal is the yin to Cobb’s yang, making the torment even more heartbreaking.

Also, and I’ not sure how many mainstream people actually pay attention to this, but the score in this film is simply amazing. Hans Zimmer, (“True Romance,” “The Lion King,” “Gladiator,” “Sherlock Holmes”) I do not know you but I think I love you. Simply powerful, you can feel the tension rise inside you and I swear I could feel my heart beating in rhythm to the music. I felt this way in my first viewing of the “Dark Knight” (which Zimmer also scored) and I’m telling you, this is award-winning stuff.

Oh and I have to mention the action. While not entirely an action movie, the glimpses I mentioned above are just the beginning of the gravity-defying, heart-stopping scenes within the film. Truly tense and incredibly cool, “Inception” delivers in showing the audience something amazing. In my opinion, what makes it cool is that it’s all based on the story. Not picking up on the gimmicks that have worked for other films, the action has a reason, a purpose and is based on the strange reality of the dreamers. Mesmerizing.

However, with all that being said, the masterpiece of the movie may also be its downfall. Such heady films make most movie munchers leave needing Motrin and this film will be no different. I think for everything I praised it for, some will complain. I’m not saying that I am better or smarter because I enjoyed this film, I’m just saying that sometimes, audiences want to shut off their mind and be entertained and this film needs some solid comprehension skills to get through it, in one piece. I understand the complaints, but completely disagree with them.

Overall, Christopher Nolan has brought the big brain back to the big budget blockbuster in a big way. With a solid running time and content that will blow you away, “Inception” is the quality diamond in the rough of summer films. Pay attention, crunch your popcorn as quietly as you can and just follow the cast down into the tapestry of the dreaming mind. Just try to remember your way back out.

5 out of 5 Totems

Predators

A Film Review by Alexander Morales

In 1987, a small group of soldiers entered a Central American jungle on a rescue mission. The mission quickly turns to survival when a mysterious creature begins hunting the soldiers down and taking their remains as trophies. Using advanced weaponry, sharpened hunting skills and physical power, the alien creature enters the hearts of film lovers across the world and the name “Predator” becomes a household name.

And I fell in love for the first time.

I was only 9.

Fast-forward 23 years later. Three films (one a true sequel, the other two poor attempts to mash-up with the Alien franchise), an extraordinary short film (“Batman: Dead End” – watch it if you’ve never seen it), video games, action figures, collectibles and a host of comic books have expanded the world of the Predator to monumental proportions. Fanboys and girls have kept the love alive by panting over anything new that shows the hunter in action. Needless to say, when news came out that Robert Rodriquez  (“Sin City,” “Desperado”) was going to be producing a new film in the series, people went wild. Sorry, let me rephrase, I went wild.

Directed by Nimród Antal (“Armored,” “Vacancy”) “Predators” is a modern vision on the classic sport of hunting. The premise: eight “elite” killers find themselves in a mysterious jungle with no memory of how they got there or why they are there. Using their own set of survival skills, the group quickly realizes that something is after them. Let the mayhem ensue.

By now and by the name of the film, we all know what’s hunting them, so let’s get to the nitty gritty. This film is kind of lame. Sorry to say that, but this film suffers from a lot of little things and, as most of us know, it’s the little things that matter most. The primary source of the lameness is due to some unbalanced and (unfortunately) unoriginal choices for the film to focus on.

The best way to describe the film is by saying that it tried really hard to be its cooler big brother - the big brother being the original 1987 film. The setting, wardrobe and weapons all seem to have been chosen to give us a nostalgic, call back to the original and while I found myself enjoying these aspects at first, I quickly realized that this ended up making it more like a CliffsNotes version of something I’ve already seen. 

In my opinion, by making so many clear callbacks to the original, the filmmakers have opened the floodgates for comparisons — a hurdle that was already going to be difficult to overcome.

Take the characters for example. Dutch (Arnold Schwarzenegger) versus Royce (a bulked up Adrian Brody) or Dillon (Carl Weathers) versus Edwin (Topher Grace) or Billy (Sonny Landham) versus Hanzo (Louis Ozawa Changchien). There is no comparison. Now I’m not talking acting abilities, I’m talking screen presence. I’m talking about who can size up against something like the Predator (see the cast of the soon-to-be released “The Expendables” for examples.) The original cast had this in spades but just like Danny Glover in “Predator 2,” this cast just can’t compare to the creature itself.

Also, I have to ask, who chose these “elite” killers? I get Brody’s character, the token sniper-girl and the two large Russian and African soldiers, but not the rest. While I think Walton Goggins  (“The Shield,” “Justified”) is cool as ice, no way does his death-row inmate character fit into this scenario. Neither does Danny Trejo’s cartel enforcer, Changchien’s Yakuza or Grace’s “doctor.” Unless of course one of the major prerequisites for joining the crew is being able to drop an “f” bomb every time you speak of course.

At the same time, the acting was extremely heavy handed. Brody seems to be in old-school Clint Eastwood mode as he snarls and husks-up every syllable as it exits his mouth. Laurence Fishburne, by comparison, took many red pills and seems to be lost in the “Matrix” (especially since his little hideout looks like a leftover set piece from the Nebuchadnezzar.) Danny Trejo and Topher Grace play Danny Trejo and Topher Grace with nothing new or different to add to the overall movie and everyone else is, well … just everyone else. Nothing outstanding to speak of and nothing very memorable.

What should of have been a jungle action epic becomes more like a slasher film just set in the jungle with characters dying in the same old, same old stereotypical places. From the very beginning, you could almost play your own little sick game of picking out who would die first and how and 8 times out of 10, you would be right.

Of course the real question is how are the Predators? Cool, as usual, but for me, there were way too many of them. This is the same thought I had when I watched “Aliens versus Predators.” One decimated a truly elite group of soldiers in the original film along with a team of Green Berets, a bunch of guerilla enforcers and whatever else it deemed worth of killing. If that’s the case, three, especially three on a world they are familiar with, should just dominate. But they don’t. By adding the multiple Predators, it makes it extremely silly when one bites the dust. Right away, it’s pretty clear which Predator is going to be the big badass of the film. Edit out the rest, give him the limelight and let the hunting begin. The filmmakers do add in a nice element showing a social hierarchy within the Predator race, but still, for a film like this, one would have been just enough.

Overall, I guess I was entertained. The music, sounds and Predator all reminded me of what I originally fell in love with all those years ago. Some good action scenes and a few well-paced moments kept me engaged, but by the end, you just kind of leave the theater with a feeling of “eh.” I don’t think anyone will feel bad for watching it (not like “The Last Airbender” … ugh, I still hate myself for sitting through that one) and it will most definitely gather dust on my DVD shelf next year, but with nothing new to offer, sadly the Predator enthusiasts of the world will just have to wait for something as cool as that 1987 original.

2.5 out 5 “No, run, get to the choppers!”

“Despicable Me” – See it with your favorite minions.

Reviewed by Jason Gregg

They are never going stop, are they?  Kids’ movies, that is.  Hollywood is going to keep churning them out year after year until one day someone stands up to say, “I think we have had just about enough pandering to this market. The jokes have been cut, edited, rehashed, and remixed to fit every possible demographic. We have taken the imagery and 3D format to an all-time high. Let this sleeping dog lie for a while and go focus our efforts elsewhere.” I don’t see it happening any time soon and I only saw a glimpse of the standard kids’ movie formula deviating slightly in “Despicable Me.” 

We are introduced to Gru (voiced by Steve Carell), the film’s protagonist/ antagonist, right after a major landmark goes missing. The audience is supposed to deduce that Gru has a history of being an evil genius. No real example of his evil doings is given until he delivers a speech to his minions.  He makes plans to get back on top after it is reported that another supervillain stole the major landmark. It’s all about ego with these supervillains.    

Gru has a team of hundreds of little, yellow minions who speak in undecipherable chirps.  They work in his laboratory and research facility. He also has a mad scientist, Dr. Nerfario (voiced by Russell Brand) that converts Gru’s orders into actual working devices.  There is a humorous downfall here. Nerfario doesn’t hear the orders so well and the wrong items are developed.  

Gru is soon faced with an obstacle that is not part of the standard formula; he is a super evil power with money issues.  The movie brings up a valid point: where do these guys get their financing?  Out of all the superheroes and super villains in movies, I can’t think of a time where this issue has been addressed.  With the state of the economy being as it is, now is a good time for a movie to bring up money issues. The story breaks character and it’s not about the kids at this point, Mom and Dad are now drawn closer to the story. They think, “Hey that’s right, I just paid $40 to get my family of four into this theater and I had to take out a second mortgage to pay for sodas and popcorn. I totally get what this guy is going through.”  (Sorry for the dose of realism on the situation, but do the math, going to the movies isn’t cheap).

Gru meets with the Mr. Perkins (voiced by Will Arnett), the president of the Bank of Evil, to ask for a loan. At the same time we are introduced to Vector (voiced by Jason Segel), Gru’s soon-to-be arch nemesis. The back and forth quickly begins for power of a shrink ray. Gru needs the shrink ray to apply for his loan and to complete his plan to steal the moon. Vector just needs it to keep the story going. Vector was funny for about five minutes, as far as enemies are concerned, he is five years too late. His catch phrases and body gestures have been done over and over again in similar kiddy flicks. Like chewing bubble gum, the flavor didn’t last for long.    

To keep the story going and to give the kids something to connect with we are introduced to three orphaned girls that Gru incorporates into his plan by adopting them. The orphans unknowingly help Gru break into Vector’s fortress to steal the shrink ray back.  After that plan goes accordingly, Gru tries to ditch them at an amusement park but after a day with the girls, he finds that his tough exterior is slowly being chiseled away by their childish antics and puppy dog eyes.  It’s cute, too cute. Couple that with the adorable mannerisms of the minions and we are talking about some serious charm. On the cuteness scale of 1-10 you can rate this at an 11 or 12.  (These minions will also be great plush toys, which means Mom and Dad’s trip to the movie just tacked on a trip to the toy store and another $30.)

Once Gru takes a liking to these three orphans the conflict between him and Vector climaxes. Mix in the fact that the date of Gru’s evil plan coincides with the dates of the orphans’ dance recital. Lastly add a dash of change-of-heart-syndrome to the final scenes.  Have you heard this one before? I have a feeling you know how it will end.

Should you see this movie? I think you already have. But, see it again for the minions; they do bring a new, fun feel to the story line. Put the kids in the car; fill up on $3 per gallon gas; stop for dinner on the way to the theater, $50; enjoy the movie in 3D, $40; buy the toys, $30; and enjoy the time with the kids because it is all new to them. Priceless.    

The Last Airbender

A Film Review by Alexander Morales

This may sound like I am joking … and maybe I am a little, but honestly, after sitting through all 103 minutes of this film, I feel as though M. Night Shyamalan should be brought up on child abuse charges. There, I said it.

Now we can begin.

“The Last Airbender,” the new film by the once excellent and above mentioned filmmaker, is the live action telling of the extremely popular “Avatar: The Last Airbender” cartoon that you can see almost 24 hours a day on a variety of cable channels. If you are new to the story, it’s actually pretty cool – Aang, a young child of the Air Nation, has been chosen as the next Avatar, a peace-keeping being that can control all four of the elemental powers of this land. After running away from his duties and falling into an underwater sleep, war has come to the world. Now, with the help of his new friends, Katara and Sokka, Aang must learn the ways of all the elements and bring peace back to the land before the Fire Nation can take full control over all the other nations.

Sounds flipping sweet, right? In the animated world it is. But in the once steady, now shaky hands of Shyamalan, it’s a straight-to-video snore.

Bad direction, poor acting, stale costumes, a horrible script and some of the worst action scenes recorded in a big budget film are only the tips of the iceberg on what’s wrong with this film. Awkward is the best word to describe the bad camera angles and confusing edits that plague almost every scene of this film. Where’s the style and finesse that we saw in “The Sixth Sense?” Where is the confidence that kept us intrigued during “Unbreakable?” Not here.

Usually I would go into a few points on the acting, but since most of the actors are young children, I’ll give them a little leeway. However, the director is a grown professional and if young actors need direction, it’s apparent that Shyamalan offered none. This is a real shame, especially as it relates to the main character. Noah Ringer, the young boy who plays Aang, is perfect for the part and has an extraordinary gift for martial arts. It’s clear that in the scenes where he is performing the elemental forms, Ringer is comfortable and confident. Yet, that all falls away because, by the middle of the movie, you just don’t care if his character succeeds or fails.

The only actor character that is able to go beyond the stereotypical, two-dimensional staleness of the film is Uncle Iroh (Shaun Toub, “Iron Man”) As the voice of reason and spiritual guidance for the banished Prince Zuko (a wasted Dev Patel, “Slumdog Millionaire”) Toub brings a calm nuanced performance that gives the fantasy world depth and shape. Unfortunately, he’s the only one and in this case, one man cannot make the difference.

At the same time, I have to ask, where’s the action? The only scenes worth watching were released over the past few months in the official movie trailer that probably only equal less than two minutes of film. It shows cool action scenes with Aang sliding under swords in slow motion and then jumping (sped up and then slowed back down in true Hollywood form) over a soldier while water bends around him. Cool. The rest? Ehh.

While watching martial art forms is hypnotizing and an elegant example of body movement on its own, here, in this film, showing it in combat just looks like bad rave dancing. Not enough action and bad choreography is the best way to describe it.

Worst of all, most of the film hinges on one event. One battle that will turn the tide for the Fire Nation or push Aang into accepting his fate as the Avatar. Clearly it is supposed to be the defining moment of the film. But, it’s not. A battle that should have been a bonanza of water and fire is instead reduced to a poor-man’s version of the Battle of Helm’s Deep from the “Lord of the Rings” and it under delivers in almost every way.

Honestly though, I’m truly saddened by the story. Not in terms of its animated roots or in how the overall story was presented on film. No, it’s because this film basically represents the first season or Book One: Water of the series. This saddens me because, as the credits were finally rolling, I realized, “Ugh, they plan on making more of these.” Not a good idea.

Overall, this is a summer film that tons of children will beg to go see and tons of children will leave theaters angry vowing never to return again. I know I probably sound harsh, but in a time when the economy is tight and people need a little fantasy relief from the troubles of modern society, this film offers nothing but time you will never get back and hard earned money wasted on something that should have been much better.

1 out of 5 Flying Bison

Grown Ups" Opens Friday At Armour - Indy Hit "Exit Through The Gift Shop" Now At Crown Center!

Opening this Friday at Armour is the new comedy Grown Ups! The death of their childhood basketball coach leads to a reunion for some old friends (Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock), who gather at the site of a championship celebration from years ago. Picking up right where they left off, the buddies , with their wives and children in tow, discover why age does not necessarily equal maturity.

All movie tickets for shows beginning before 5pm Monday-Friday are now only $5 at the Armour! We are also open for lunch Monday thru Friday at 11am. We will be offering a delicious array of garden fresh salads, homemade sandwiches, gourmet pizzas as well as daily specials. Call the Box Office at 816-994-7380 for more details.

Click Here For Screenland Armour Showtimes

Join us for our monthly installment of The Big Lebowski this Friday at 9:30! White Russian drink specials at the bar all night! The Dude abides.

Continuing this weekend is the newest zombie flick for the master of horror George A. Romero, Survival Of The Dead! It's playing EXCLUSIVELY at Screneland Crossroads!

Coming Friday, July 8th will be the ROAST of GHOST! Our resident comedians set their sights on this Demi Moore/Patrick Swazye classic! We also have Troll 2 documentary Best Worst Movie coming soon as well as modern cult classic The Room on July 30th and 31st!

Click Here For Screenland Crossroads Showtimes

SCREENLAND ‘SLAMS’ MOMMIE DEAREST THIS THURSDAY!

Imagine Mystery Science Theatre 3000, only live, with a full bar, and gayer than Doogie Howser hosting the Tony Awards.  At 8:00 p.m., three local comedians are turned loose on the worse films in the history of cinema to rip them all to shreds, starting with the legendary Mommie Dearest.  Be the first person on your block  to see this classic camp movie with a live laugh track!  And with live comedians yet!  For even more information, visit www.screenlandslams.com.

This Thursday is your last chance to see the Academy Award nominated Ajami.

And we’re holding over, probably for the last weekend, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and Eclipse.

EXIT THROUGH THE GIFT SHOP AND HARRY BROWN ARE  NOW PLAYING!

COMING SOON:  JULY 9-BEHIND THE BURLY-Q,  AUGUST 6-CROPSEY, AND LOOK FOR THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW AND THE BIG LEBOWSKI!  

Click Here For Screenland Crown Center Showtimes

Knight and Day

Reviewed by Heidi Nast

I’ll begin this review by challenging anyone a buck (hypothetically) to explain the relevance of the title Knight and Day.  While Tom Cruise’s character’s name a.k.a. is Roy Miller and loosely suggests his childhood surname is Knight, I don’t get the “day” correlation.

Whatever happened to the “big summer movie release” for 2010?  Here is a sprinkling of films categorized the top domestic or worldwide memorable summer blockbusters including one soon to open.  Hopefully, more than a few will jostle your memory. 

“Easy Rider” (1969) “Jaws” (1975) “Star Wars” (1977) “E.T.” (1982) “Raiders of the Lost Ark” (1981) “Return of the Jedi” (1983) “Ghostbusters” (1984) “Die Hard” (1988) “Empire Strikes Back” (1990) “Jurassic Park” (1993) “The Lion King” (1994) “Forrest Gump” (1994) “Mission Impossible” (1996) “Independence Day” (1996) “Star Wars” trilogy (1999-2002-2005) “Spider-Man (2002) “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban” (2004) “The Da Vinci Code” (2006) “Pirates of the Caribbean” (2007) “Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix” (2007) “Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince” (2009) “The Twilight Saga” (opening June 2010).

A lot of people have very high expectations for Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz.  The odds are they would have been better off going it alone versus coupling together, which was a recipe for disaster with a clear and distinct lack of chemistry between the two of them!  Case in point, Cruise’s hair never moves.  Is it any wonder that Diaz couldn’t run her fingers through it?  If you’re looking for a forgettable film, a script full of holes and overblown special effects, all for the protection of a Zephyr battery, then maybe this movie is for you.  Let’s see — there was a commercial airplane flown by dead pilots, fast trains, helicopters, seaplanes, and motorcycle stunts beyond blue screen believable.  My guess is this will be offered in your local big box movie rental location quicker than you can hit the popcorn button on your microwave in the comfort of your own home.                  

The good news, Knight and Day only lasts 102 minutes, the trailer and some brief and memorable highlights of a restored circa 1966 classic GTO.   The bad news is that it isn’t funny, romantic, adventurous or clever and a total waste of talent that in my opinion will never enter the celluloid/digital blockbuster list.

Night….night……ho-hum.

The Karate Kid Strikes like a Cobra

Reviewed by Jason Gregg

I was hesitant when I saw the trailer for “The Karate Kid” a month ago.  I thought, “Here we go again.”  When I see a potential rehash or remake or a reboot of something from my childhood I can usually hear cash registers cha-chinging in the background.  That sound typically means that somewhere Hollywood executives are getting their wings and are about to make a down payment on a house in the hills or buy yet another Rolex to add to their collection.  Like most Gen-Xers I am apprehensive and cynical when it comes to these matters. 

I also know that I can be wrong from time to time.  And, on the rare occasion that I am wrong I will admit it. I first had a feeling that I was wrong once the opening credits of “The Karate Kid” were rolling and I saw that two of the producers were Will and Jada Pinkett Smith.  These are two people in Hollywood that probably aren’t out to make a quick buck.  Considering their kid is in the lead role, they probably are going to treat the film with a little more care.   

The story begins with the main character, Dre Parker (Jaden Smith, son of the aforementioned producers) leaving Detroit with his mom to relocate to China.  It is immediately established that there is no dad and that he is an only child.  Once in China Dre has trouble adapting to the culture and the language (however, every person in China seems to be able to speak English).  He makes a few friends and quickly finds a love interest all within an hour or two of landing.  Much of this story is going to sound familiar because the writers didn’t deviate from the original “Karate Kid” too much.

As soon as Dre finds love he finds bitter enemies.  He is involved in his first fight where he tries out his amateur fighting skills resulting in a black eye.  It only gets worse for him at his new school.  He tries to find a way to defend himself but discovers that the only kung fu class in town also teaches his enemies.  Dre eventually retaliates and is once again finding himself outnumbered and on the losing end of a brawl.  Enter the maintenance man, Mr. Han (played by Jackie Chan), who comes to save the day in a humorous fight scene.  If you have seen previous Chan movies you will most likely appreciate the fight sequence here.  I didn’t think it would be too funny to see an older man beat up on a bunch of young punks, but again I was wrong.  I enjoyed watching Chan deviate from playing the fighting comic; his role here is much more somber than what he has previously done.

Mr. Han tries to reason with the instructor at the kung fu school about the behaviors of his students and enrolls Dre in to a kung fu tournament.  Mr. Han takes Dre in and teaches him the ancient art of how to pick up his jacket (think wax on, wax off and you will get the idea).  Through the course of the rest of the movie the audience is given some breathtaking views of China while also following Dre’s kung fu training.  It is never really explained why Mr. Han has to teach Dre kung fu on top of the Great Wall of China other than the fact that it is really cool to see in a movie. 

As in the original movie the story climaxes at a championship tournament, where as in the original, the protagonist defeats everyone in the tournament to make it to the final round therefore facing his bitter enemy.  The movie is over two hours long but that final scene at the tournament made it seem well worth it.  I can’t remember the last time I was in a theater where the audience was cheering and clapping. 

Should you see this movie?  Quite simply, yes.  It gives you a solid story line that has been holding up for the last 25 years along with a mix of age appropriate humor and some action.  The real difference between the original and this movie is the improved fight sequences.  If you are a Gen-Xer, leave your cynicisms at the door, take your kids and enjoy a good family movie.        

The A-Team

Film Review by Alexander Morales

All right, let’s just cut to the chase. “The A-Team” is a ridiculous, over-the-top, exploding hand grenade of fun with which you will roll your eyes with err, smile with nostalgia, laugh where it’s funny and find yourself completely lost in the mayhem that writer/director Joe Carnahan (“Narc,” “Smoking Aces”) has captured on screen.

Oh, and I liked almost every minute of it. Almost.

In 1983, the world was given a new type of soldier to root for. Five season later, three Emmy nominations (1983, 1984 and 1987), a People’s Choice Award (1984) and a Stuntman Award (1985) earned the names Hannibal, Murdock, B.A. Baracus and Faceman a regular helping of TV dinner in homes across the United States. Now, like everything else that has been dusted off from my childhood, “The A-Team” has been given the Hollywood treatment and that’s where we find ourselves today.

Just a warning, I may not be able to stop myself from making a “pity the fool” joke. I can feel it coming on, but I will do my best to refrain.

(Clearing throat) … OK.

The films starts with a punch (literally) and immediately throws us into the action as the four above mentioned characters meet, bond and beat up on the bad guys. Seemingly never stopping to take a break, the plot and “plans” weave themselves into this complex web that never really allows the audience to rest. In most situations, I would say that this is a bad thing, but not here. In fact, I would say that this is perfect for this kind of film. Any slow down in the pace would allow the audience to think too much about what’s happening allowing flaws to be more apparent on the surface.

I won’t go too much into the story and how it curves because, as I was sitting in the theater, a few of us got to talking and it seems one member of the audience had never seen an episode of the original series before. After the shock, I realized how much I “pitied the …” wait, no, not going to do it. Sorry, almost let it slip.

Ahem.

After the shock, I realized that he was a part of a whole generation of newbie’s that would experience the team with fresh new eyes, so I’ll keep my commentary on the actual plotlines of the story to myself.

However, in terms of my commentary on the team, that is a completely different story. The originals of George Peppard, Dwight Schultz, Mr. T and Dirk Benedict have been upgraded to the newer models of Liam Neeson (Hannibal), Sharlto Copley (Murdock), Quinton “Rampage” Jackson (B.A. Baracus) and Hollywood “It-boy” Bradley Cooper (Face). Needless to say, these four stars are dynamite together. Confidence, a true sense of camaraderie and fun spew off the screen and the combination of them together is a true recipe of success. It’s hard to say if they do the original portrayals of the characters justice, especially in the case of Baracus since Mr. T’s overall brand was built around a lot of the of the character’s traits, but I was not disappointed.

And yet, even with all that team goodness, there are two characters that dominate the screen each time they’re on. Patrick Wilson (“Watchmen”) and Copley (“District 9”) are the two firing pins for this film. Wilson, as the CIA mastermind and badass Lynch, is having so much fun playing his role that you can’t help but like him. Every time he’s onscreen he oozes authority and wields his power like a kid with a pocketful of money in a candy store. On the flipside, Copley as Murdock is bat-with-rabies crazy and just mesmerizing to try and follow his stream of consciousness method. Both are integral to the overall story and both add a lot of depth to roles that could have become silly caricatures in the hands of lesser actors.

Of course, everything is a little flawed and this film is no exception. With a running time of an hour and 57 minutes, this film is way too long. To be fair, it never felt like it dragged, but there were a few montages of “git-r-done” moments that could have been slimmed down. At the same time, for a fun action film, this film starts to get way over-complex pretty quickly and it starts to stumble a little. Carnahan is getting known for his unique style of storytelling and while a little complexity is good, too much makes the silly-meter rise very quickly. Also, Jessica Biel is Jessica Biel, no more no less. In theory her role could have been given to anyone who looks hot in a uniform and it would have worked. Nothing special there.

But, the real issue I have is with some of the action. Not in terms of the over-the-top stuff, even though at times the stuff they do is laughable, but in terms of how the hand-to-hand fighting is shot. It is way too close and you just can’t make out what’s happening. For example, the first time you meet Baracus, he has to flex his muscles and show some people how he earned his name. Great. Love it. Nothing cooler. Yet, the camera is so close, everything looks like blurs and you can’t really see anything. It’s distracting, a little annoying and could have been done much better.

Overall, go see this movie. While not a contender for the big acting awards, “The A-Team” knows exactly what it is – an over-the-top roller coaster of action that, while confident in itself, knows that it is a purely fun retreat into nostalgia. So sit down, grab your popcorn and just enjoy the ride.

And I “pity the fool” who says otherwise!

Heh.

3.5 out 5 High Caliber Bullets